Cartoon hysteria
“And always look on the bright side of life”
by
Alex Lekutanoy
Why would that Danish
cartoonist draw such an insulting image of our Prophet?
I think I’ve got it,
It’s all coming back to me now ……. It must be because suicide
bombers have been detonating themselves to smithereens in the name
of; yes you guessed it, Mohammed!
The cartoons are a
visual commentary on how Islam and Mohammed are being used to
promote global jihad for reactionary Islamism. They maybe offensive
to the believers, but if the followers of Jesus Christ, Judaism or
Buddha were immolating themselves on the streets of Manhattan, you
can be sure they’d satirize that as well.
Now, if the editors
of the Danish paper came to me and said, the timing isn’t quite
right and it might not go down well on the old Islamic street. We're
not comfortable with the image of Mohammed with the bomb in his
turban, or where Mohammed is informing the suicide bombers outside
heavens gate that they’ve run out of virgins.
(Personally I find
the thought of 72 shining virgins, lustfully and impatiently
awaiting my arrival, a rather daunting prospect, I get weak in knees
just thinking about it)
I the hypothetical
cartoonist would be faced with a delicate decision, I could have
said, oh alright then, I’ll reign in my rabid creativity for the
sake of world harmony, far be it from me to pour petrol on this
culture clash. Or, I would correctly point out, I have a right to
criticize Islam or any other belief system. What I draw or say does
not require the blessings of the mullahs, al-Asqua Martyrs Brigade,
or Islamic Jihad. We have a right to be offensively correct,
tactless and tasteless if necessary. We make no apologies for our
tolerance, humanism, and enlightenment and there shall be none
offered for our freedom of expression either.
I can almost hear the
retort - you might have a right to mouth obscenities at strangers on
the subway as well, but it’s not really advisable, is it? We all
know what happens if you put your hand in the lions cage.
What a load of tripe!
This line of thought serves to exculpate the religious zealots, the
spreaders of hate-filled incitement, and the murderers putting in
overtime for their God. Should we also inoculate them from
prosecution for murder as well? After all, they are not lions they’re
human beings.
I'd like to break the
news to the Islamic religious fanatics, that due to globalization,
your going to read things on the internet and come across cartoons
in newspapers, or be exposed to movies that may trespass on your
tender feelings, if this tragedy should happen, please remember that
you are an adult; and your bruised ego does not entitle you to stage
a worldwide hissy fit. Instead, try growing the fuck up! and keeping
your shirts on.
As it happens, it was
the Danish mullahs who took this global by circulating the cartoons
along with a fabricated cartoon of Muhammad with a pig’s snout (not
part of the original set published in the Danish Newspaper) to fan
the flames, and propagate their liberticidal design on the rest of us.
Meanwhile, Muslim governments were salivating over the opportunity
to exploit the crisis to bolster their Islamic street credentials. I
see no bias against Muslims when it comes to satire in the world
press; Anti-Jewish images are routinely displayed in the Muslim
press, and worse, like the Protocols of the elders of Zion, an
example of vile anti-Semitism, and remember, they are published with
the endorsement of the governments state controlled media. The
Western press has been rife with cartoons of perverted priests and
papal cover-ups. We know that free speech is not always painless, we
must also defend and swallow speech that gets stuck in our throats,
speech that is morally repugnant, like that of British historian
David Irving’s holocaust revisionism. However repellent David
Irving’s opinions are, he should not be sitting in a jail cell for
them.
I can’t say I was
thrilled with one of Andres Serrano’s prize winning photos, but I
believe in his right to make it, to express himself, however warped
I may think it is, he won’t have to worry about me coming after him,
cornering him with my friends and subjecting him to a golden shower.
No eye for an eye here.
It’s been a sad and
demented state of affairs. Denmark has had its embassies violated,
and its consulates torched. Demonstrators have called for the
decapitation of the cartoonist and anyone who conspires with him.
Newspapers in France fired their editors and apologized, while U.S.
and European governments talked out of both sides of their mouths.
Nigerians go on a psychotic rampage of the Christian community,
killing sixteen people and burning eleven churches. 10 Libyans die
outside the Danish embassy and a forgiving mullah in Pakistan offers
$1 million for the murder of the cartoonist, while an Iranian
newspaper holds a holocaust denial cartoon contest. I think we can
safely assume that the extremists don’t have a sense of humor, and
if they do, it’s of the crass and vulgar kind. To those whining that
Muslims are being stereotyped as violent by the western media. I
say, how better to combat that argument, than by taking the world on
a murdering meltdown tour every time something or someone upsets
them.
If you don’t want be
called a barbarian then don’t behave like one, and if you’re not
fond of the name terrorist, then kindly stop blowing yourselves up
in public. It’s never fair when the peaceful majority is besmirched
by the mindless actions of a minority, but that should give them all
the more reason to make themselves heard.
And some are, like
the amazing Dr. Wafa Sultan a Syrian Psychiatrist who was raised by
a devout Muslim family and now lives in Los Angeles. Her interview
on the Al Jazeera network broadcast on February 21st has
been viewed over a million times on the internet. She said, it’s not
a clash of civilizations, but a clash between a mentality that
belongs in the middle ages and one of the 21st century,
between civilization and backwardness, civility and the primitive,
between barbarity and rationality, freedom and oppression, between
democracy and dictatorship, human rights and the violators of it.
This truly courageous lady has received numerous death threats; but
she is not backing down.
How absurd and
farcical can all this become you ask with coy curiosity? Well, quite
bloody ridiculous. Iranians love a Danish pastry in the morning, if
you put an order in for one now in Tehran, you going to have to ask
for a “Rose of the Prophet Muhammad” with your venti coffee. That’s
even more ludicrous than the renaming of French fries to “Freedom
Fries” by the U.S. congress. Of course there’s nothing innately
insulting about having a pastry named after you, but when dainty
delights like the nipples of Venus come to mind, it’s hard to find
the compliment. If only the fanatics had a sense of humor. A touch
of self-deprecation would have come in really handy during this
international crisis. If you ever chance to see a religious maniac
get a rush of blood to the head or turn blue in the face, ask them
to take a deep breath, and sing this little beauty.
Always Look on the Bright Side of
Life
Eric Idel - Monty Pythons - The life
of Brian
Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...
And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath
Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life.
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